Some children are more difficult to manage than
others. As a matter of fact, we ought to rejoice when
we get such a one as Marjorie, for such children
have spirit and individuality. The so-called good
children, who are models of deportment and obedi-
ence, should really give us much more concern
because of the lack of initiative in their nature.
Difficult children are bound always to make their
way in the world and to gather experience, either
directly by a life of virtuous action and glorious ser-
vice or else indirectly through a life of wrong-
doing, which is later corrected and transmuted in
Purgatory. But the good child which never gives its
parents an uneasy moment is very apt to grow up in
just the same way, and go through life without
doing either good or bad.
You remember in the Apocalypse, how the Spirit
speaks to the seven churches. To some of them
there was praise, to others blame, but the most
scathing, startling denouncement was given to one
church in the words: "I would thou were cold or
hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither
cold nor hot I will spew thee out of my mouth." If
there is one character that is fixed firmly upon the
path of virtue, it is a converted “bad” man, for it is
an axiom that "the greater the sinner, the greater the
saint." Whoever treads the paths of vice with a firm
step will also be strong for virtue when his feet are
turned about. But the lukewarm people, who are
neither hot nor cold, they are the ones that should
cause us real concern. Therefore you need have no
fear for Marjorie whatever. She will come out all
right in the end. Only a strong soul has such con-
figurations and shows such marked characteristics
in consequence.
Now, for a method of guiding her feet into the
path of well-doing. We have found that it is best to
take no notice of minor delinquencies, those which
may be called offenses, save by occasional advice
such as, "I would not do this or that; no really nice
girls do so and so; and you do not want people to
think that you are not nice." Unless you give lati-
tude to the child and make allowance for the fact
that the vital body is in the course of formation dur-
ing the first seven years, you miss the mark. It is the
vehicle of habit, therefore the child forms one habit
after another, breaking itself of the old ones almost
as rapidly as the new ones are formed.
By bearing this in mind you will escape continu-
al correction of the child, which dulls its respect
when truly important matters are taken up in which
a certain line of conduct must be insisted upon for
its good. When you come to such an issue, it is
important to know what particular thing the child
loves best in food, play, dress, or outdoor liberties.
Then the screw can be put on, gently at first, but
with increasing pressure, until the object at issue is
accomplished.
A growing child should never be deprived of its
meals, but the necessary nourishment can be given
without the delicacies it loves; it is quite legitimate
to apply the "tortures of Tantalus" by placing the
prescribed delicacies on the table and allowing the
child to see mother and father enjoy them and
express their delight while they are eating cake or
honey which is denied to the recalcitrant, until he or
she agrees to do the thing required.
This we have found is one of the most effective
methods of securing obedience. If the child is very
fond of dress, have an ugly frock or suit which it
must wear when disobedient. Then it will not want
to go out among its associates, or if it does they will
very soon find out the cause and with the custom-
ary cruelty of children they will jeer and sneer at the
little culprit who fears that treatment more than
anything that mamma might do. Thus the screw
will very soon pinch it into obedience, resulting
perhaps in a request to have the "naughty-dress"
removed.
There are various other methods along the same
line which will suggest themselves to parents. But
such correctives should only be used very infre-
quently and as last resorts or the child will become
hardened to them. In general, the appeal to its love
for the parents, its desire to be well thought of, and
its reason, so far as that can be appealed to, should
be invoked.
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